The day Oxford said “yes”
The moment I stepped into the University of Oxford’s awe-inspiring campus in October of last year, I felt an immediate sense of belonging. As I walked and observed colleges as old as 700 years, I had no doubts it would be truly fascinating to live in such a vibrant, intercultural and intellectual environment.
My visit to Oxford was quite fast — it lasted half a day, but I couldn’t miss the slightest chance of knowing the place where I wanted to carry out my future graduate studies. I remember running quickly to reach the bus stop right outside the Heathrow Airport to board towards Oxford, after landing from Amsterdam, where I was part of a panel about food security at the CropWorld Global event. The bus driver was surely impressed that I had bought a round-trip ticket for the same day.
Victoria, a friend of mine who I met in 2015 during the Youth Ag-Summit in Canberra, Australia, was readily waiting for me when I arrived in Oxford. She had just begun her MSc in Biodiversity, Conservation and Management. I was in awe with her perception of studying in Oxford and she confirmed what I had always thought — once in Oxford, you feel part of something bigger than yourself. It’s as if the entire world was there somehow, whilst dedicated academics decode the world’s most pressing problems.
Sooner than I thought, I found myself entering the building of the School of Geography and the Environment, where I envisioned myself taking the MSc in Water Science, Policy and Management. I had a very interesting chat with the admissions office and some Master’s students about the program I was interested in, to make sure I was a good match for Oxford. That talk proved to be essential to me — I was given the current Student Handbook for the program I was interested in, besides the Electives Handbook and the MSc Environment Change and Management Handbook. I was free to “daydream” about the courses I would love to take. Oh, for the record: I was also carrying a heavy luggage (I was traveling to London afterwards) and, to my surprise, the Geography department staff gladly allowed me to leave my luggage in one of their rooms whilst I ventured myself into the Oxford campus. Could I get any happier than that?
As soon as I got back to Brazil, I started working hard on my Oxford’s application. The pathway was not an easy one at all. I was well aware of that, but I was more than willing to take the risk. Every single day after I arrived home from my job, I would spend hours and hours studying for the TOEFL iBT exam, writing the statement of purpose (including hours staring at a blank page), carefully reading all of the details of my Master’s choice, managing the invitations for letters of reference, working on a sample of written academic work (which turned out to be a “scientific article” version of my own senior thesis) and so on and so forth. Not to mention the impossible mission of choosing from one of the 38 outstanding Oxford’s colleges. To be honest, the application process seemed endless — so did the hunt for Scholarships. I remember I was so tired in one of those 3 am mornings of writing-ups, that I smiled of happiness — somehow, all of those efforts would pay off. I had to believe that.
When I finally submitted my application to Oxford (after reviewing it for the 10th time, and with sweating hands) in the dawn of January 19th of this year, I lifted my hands to heaven to thank God for the opportunity. Really. Applying to graduate school is a very, very demanding process. I had to give more than 100% of myself, but I guarantee the process itself was worth it. An application process will always make you grow as a person, because you are the sole responsible for your time and efforts. No one else is.
The waiting period can be equally challenging. There was not a single day I wouldn’t think of my application to Oxford. Will I be accepted? When will the result be out? And so many other questions that crossed my mind. But I learned to be patient and in ease with myself, knowing I had given the best of myself, within my own possibilities. “What’s yours is already reserved to you”, my close friends would always remind me. I dreamed big, but I had both of my feet on the ground.
March 19th, 2017. It was a cloudy and rainy Sunday in the city of São Paulo, or Sampa, as Brazilians like to call it. I was spending the whole weekend in Sampa, and I decided to take my parents to get to know better one of the most cosmopolitan and intercultural cities in Latin America. In that Sunday afternoon, I took them to Livraria Cultura, my favorite bookstore, nearby the Paulista Avenue. Each one of us went to different sides of the enormous bookstore, and I soon found myself in the “traveling section” , the place you should really expect to see me. I found a comfortable coach and started reading the book “Não há tempo a perder” (“No time to lose”), by the Brazilian explorer Amyr Klink, one of the people I admire the most. My mind was captivated by these words from the book: “Even the most absurd ideas can become feasible — if you compromise yourself to decode each part of the pathway”. For some unknown reason (or should I say, fate), I decided to open my Gmail in my phone — I know it’s weird to open up your e-mail on a Sunday afternoon, but I really felt I had to do so. My heart started racing: I had an incoming e-mail from the Oxford University Centre for the Environment (OUCE).
“Dear Claudia, I have great pleasure in attaching a copy of our letter offering you a place…”, when I read those first words, my world stopped. I closed my eyes, my hands shaking. I stared at the phone again. Read the entire letter again. And again. As many times as I possibly could. It was a letter of offer. From the University of Oxford! I wanted to scream out loud at the library, I wanted to jump and run all at once, I wanted to cry and laugh, but I kept calm, put the Amyr Klink’s book aside, and started literally going from one edge to the other looking for my parents. I urgently had to share those news with them, the ones who have always closely supported the most utopic of my dreams.
I went to the first floor, and I found my dad quietly reading, sat on a couch. “Dad, I want to show you a book. But I want mom to see it, too. Do you know where she is?” — that was my made-up explanation, because I wanted to share the news with both of them at the same time. “Oh, I think your mom is at the children’s section”. I quickly got downstairs, but I couldn’t find my mom. I looked like a lost child looking for her parents in a very busy place. To my surprise, my mom was sitting exactly in the same place I was, reading the exact same book. Yes, I ended up buying Amyr Klink’s book that day, too.
“Mom!”, I said, voice trembling. “We have to go upstairs to show this book to dad”. My mom replied, confused: “There are so many books… just take one of them and show it to your dad”. “No, mom”, I said, anxious. “You have to come together with me as well!”. My mom finally followed me upstairs, holding the book. I called my dad to come closer. “I have to tell you something new…”, I was about to cry. “Oxford said yes!”. When I pronounced Oxford… I started crying of happiness in the middle of the bookstore. And so did my parents. We were all hugging each other, in awe with the new future that had just opened up right in front of us, in an unforgettable Sunday afternoon. I was so happy that I was left with no words. I started thanking my parents for all of their support, for always believing in my potential. Later that day, I was lifting my hands to heaven at Hillsong Church, deeply thankful to God for having placed that dream in my heart and for making it come true in such a special and beautifully prepared way. God was the first one to give me a gift for my birthday, which also happens to be in the World Water Day (another glimpse of fate).
To the offer that is ahead of me, I say yes. Yes to new descoveries, intensity, courage, intellectuallity, interculturality, sustainable development, new friends, new horizons, new challenges and feelings. I am genuinelly thankful to this opportunity of representing Brazil in one of the world’s leading universities, and I want to live it all to the fullest, every single day. In the words of Amyr Klink, “One day we must stop dreaming and, somehow, leave”.
